Selfish to Surrendered, One Blank Sheet of Paper at a Time

“...we battle selfishness, but the beauty of it all is that as we continue to surrender, we also continue to mature.”

“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (Philippians, 2:1-4, NIV)

When I make anything about me, it will end in disappointment, I guarantee, but when I put others’ interest above my own, I’m not only fulfilled, I am loved, seen, and known.

It's counterintuitive, I know, but when we live by these words Paul spoke to the church at Philippi, we can truly experience what it means to have our joy made complete by having like minds, the same love, and being unified in spirit, all because of God’s selfless love for us.

I’m a mom of boys, and while I’m sure the same is true in a houseful of girls, there was no shortage of selfishness as my guys grew up, acted up, and acted out in their personal struggles of selfishness.

I remember a squabble one day between two of my boys. I was in the kitchen preparing dinner, and Caleb and Isaac were drawing together. All was going along swimmingly. They were engaging in playful banter, laughing about their silly artwork, and it was like music to my ears! It was as if I could hear The Hallelujah Chorus playing in the background as they sweetly played together, that is, until Caleb went to his desk to get a blank sheet of paper, and Isaac adamantly insisted it was his.

Like a concerned mom, I left the kitchen, and made my way into the combat zone. Harsh words were flying like fiery darts. I knew I needed to redirect my wounded soldiers and look for a peaceable solution. I rationally tried to explain to Isaac that we had plenty of paper, and I would gladly get him another. I learned rather quickly that my rational solution did not appeal to Issac’s selfish heart. He continued to throw his tantrum and landed himself in time out to think about his actions until dinnertime.

I returned to the kitchen, finished preparing dinner, and then summoned the troops for our evening meal. Isaac joined us, and like at most meals, requested to say a prayer of blessing for our meal. He began his usual prayer, “Jesus, thank you for this food…” And then, it was as if the Heavenly Conductor tapped on His music stand, brought the angelic choir to attention, and The Hallelujah Chorus rang out in my heart again. Isaac deviated from his typical rote prayer with a heartfelt apology to the Lord… “and God, I’m sorry for my attitude this afternoon. Please forgive me and help Caleb forgive me, too. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”

I looked up from my prayer posture, and my eyes met my husband’s.  We exchanged smiles produced by the tug of our heart strings, and both affirmed Isaac in his heart change.

Did you know God smiles when our hearts are changed by His love for us? When we move from selfishness to humility? When we consider others interests above our own?

And while this story may be about my child, I struggle with selfishness, and I’m sure you do, too. As children of God, from childhood to adulthood, we battle selfishness, but the beauty of it all is that as we continue to surrender, we also continue to mature. With each heartfelt apology and consideration of others, our joy is being made complete, one blank sheet of paper at a time.

Action Step: 

• Reflect: Is there anyone you need to apologize to today? Reach out now and simply say, I'm sorry.

Written by: Tabitha, a surrendered mom, overcoming selfishness as she follows her Savior.

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